feel-good.now

Conversation planner

Plan a difficult conversation in ten minutes. What you want, what they want, your first sentence, and what to do if it goes badly.

One outcome. If you have three, pick the one that matters most.

A guess is fine. You'll check it by asking.

Start with the relationship, then name the topic. Say it out loud twice before the conversation.

One per line.

Write it as if-then: "If they…, then I'll…"

Your data

It stays on this device. What you save is kept in this browser's local storage. It is never sent anywhere, and nobody else can see it. It works offline.

How it works

Fill in what you can. Your plan appears below the form as you type, ready to copy or print. You don’t need to fill in every box.

  • One outcome. Knowing what you want keeps the conversation from drifting.
  • What they probably want. Guessing helps you prepare, but ask them during the conversation. Listening carefully and summing up what someone said makes them less defensive [3].
  • Your opening sentence. Opening lines that use “I” and acknowledge the other person’s view come across as less hostile [2].
  • If it goes badly. An if-then plan (“If we both get heated, then I’ll suggest a break”) makes you more likely to follow through when the moment comes [1].

The research behind each step is real but limited, and none of it tested a planner like this one, so it’s rated Weak. For the full advice, read Having a difficult conversation with a parent or Staying calm before a difficult meeting.

Sources

  1. [1]Gollwitzer PM, Sheeran P (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. Systematic review / meta-analysis
  2. [2]Rogers SL, Howieson J, Neame C (2018). I understand you feel that way, but I feel this way: the benefits of I-language and communicating perspective during conflict. PeerJ. Intervention study
  3. [3]Itzchakov G, Weinstein N, Leary M, et al. (2024). Listening to understand: The role of high-quality listening on speakers' attitude depolarization during disagreements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Intervention study