Ways of thinking

How you explain what happens to you changes how you feel about it, and what you do next. These are learnable skills, with the evidence for each one.

Realistic optimismExplain bad events as temporary and specific, expect things can improve, then plan for the obstacles. Positive fantasies alone can backfire.
- Evidence: Some
Focusing on what you controlSort a worry into what you control, what you can influence and what you can't. Act on the first, accept the last. Matching your coping to the situation matters most.
- Evidence: Some
The hedonic treadmillPeople get used to good changes, and partly to bad ones. But happiness isn't fixed, some events leave lasting marks, and variety and savoring slow the fade.
- Evidence: Some
Reframing setbacksChange how you read a setback, not just how you react. Look at it from a distance, check the evidence, and ask what you'd tell a friend.
- Evidence: Some
Gratitude and savoringNoticing and stretching out good moments gives a small lift. Gratitude exercises help less than their reputation suggests, so use them lightly.
- Evidence: Some
Self-compassion instead of self-criticismTalk to yourself after a mistake the way you'd talk to a friend. It doesn't make you lazy; in experiments it made people try harder to improve.
- Evidence: Some
Perspective-takingImagining how someone else sees things doesn't make you better at reading them. Asking does. Stepping back from your own problems does help you think more wisely.
- Evidence: Some