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- Apologizing properlySay what you did, say it was your fault, and offer to put it right. Skip the "if" and the "but". Listen first, and don't demand forgiveness.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 10 minutes to prepare, 10 to say it
- Disagreeing with a partner without fightingStart softly, take a real break when your heart is racing, and look at the argument as a fair outsider would. Couples research supports each step, but the effects are modest.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 20 minutes to an hour
- Perspective-takingImagining how someone else sees things doesn't make you better at reading them. Asking does. Stepping back from your own problems does help you think more wisely.
- Dealing with a difficult bossKeep a factual record, talk to them directly about how you work together, protect the parts of the job you control, and keep your options open without panicking.
- Evidence: Weak
- Takes: 20 minutes, then a few minutes a week
- Having a difficult conversation with a parentPick one topic, open gently, listen first, say how you see it with "I", and take a break if it heats up. Most of the evidence comes from couples, not parents.
- Evidence: Weak
- Takes: an evening to prepare, an hour to talk
- Talking about moneyMoney arguments tend to come back and stay unresolved. Talk about it on purpose, at a calm time, about one decision, and start gently. The how-to advice is mostly untested.
- Evidence: Weak
- Takes: 30 minutes, once a month
- Handling holidays with familyLower the stakes, plan your exits, go easy on alcohol, and have a few phrases ready to steer away from old arguments. Mostly common sense; little research tests it.
- Evidence: Common practice
- Takes: an evening to plan