Work

The moments at work that make your heart rate go up, and what to do about each one.

Staying calm before a difficult meetingLong exhales, a named feeling, a written opening line and one if-then plan. Nerves won't vanish, but they get smaller and easier to work with.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 10 minutes
Asking for a raiseBring evidence, name a specific number at the top of a realistic range, tie it to the role, and have a plan for "no". Ambitious asks usually pay, but they cost a bit of goodwill if pushed too hard.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: an evening to prepare
Receiving criticismCalm down before you reply, ask questions until you know exactly what they mean, and sort the useful part from the sting later, on paper.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 10 minutes, then a day
Giving feedbackBe specific about what happened and what to do next, keep it about the work rather than the person, and say you think they can meet the standard.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 15 minutes to prepare
Recovering from a mistake at workTell the right person quickly, bring a fix, apologize once without grovelling, and treat yourself the way you'd treat a colleague who'd done the same.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: an hour, then a few days
Dealing with a difficult bossKeep a factual record, talk to them directly about how you work together, protect the parts of the job you control, and keep your options open without panicking.
- Evidence: Weak
- Takes: 20 minutes, then a few minutes a week
Sunday-night dreadPlan the week on Sunday afternoon, write a specific to-do list, give the worry a set time, then do something that fully takes your attention.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 30 minutes on Sunday afternoon
Job interview nervesPrepare five or six stories you can tell well, practice them out loud, treat the racing heart as readiness, and slow your breathing before you go in.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: a few hours over the week before

Other situations: Family and partners Social Hard stretches Everyday