Social

How to see more of the people you like, meet new ones, and leave when you’ve had enough.

Being social as an introvertOther people enjoy talking with you more than you think. Plan shorter, deeper contact, and build in recovery time.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: an hour or two a week
Making friends as an adultFriendships come from repeated time with the same people. Pick one regular thing, keep showing up, and be the one who suggests the next step.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: a few hours a week, for a few months
Small talkAsk questions, especially follow-up questions, and go a little deeper than feels safe. People enjoy talking with you more than you expect.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 5 minutes
Leaving events early without guiltDecide your leaving time before you arrive, say a short goodbye to the host, and go. Most people notice your exit far less than you think.
- Evidence: Weak
- Takes: 2 minutes
Reconnecting with an old friendA short, warm message is usually welcomed more than you expect. Skip the long apology, mention something specific, and suggest a next step.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 5 minutes
Saying no to invitationsPeople take a polite no far better than you expect. Ask whether you'd say yes if it were tomorrow, then decline warmly, briefly and early.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 5 minutes
Being new in a cityFeeling lonely after a move is normal and usually temporary. Build a weekly routine of familiar places and faces, and say yes to small talk.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: a few hours a week

Other situations: Work Family and partners Hard stretches Everyday