Hard stretches

For weeks that go badly. What helps in the first few days, and what helps over the following months.

After a breakupIt usually hurts less, and for less long, than you fear. Cut down on checking your ex online, see people, and spend time rebuilding a sense of who you are on your own.
- Evidence: Weak
- Takes: a few weeks
After a rejectionRejection stings, but it rarely tells you what you're worth. Talk to yourself like a fair friend, keep the lesson small and specific, and try again.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: an evening
Getting through a long job searchA long search wears most people down, and that's not a personal failing. Give your days structure, set targets for effort rather than offers, and get skills and support at the same time.
- Evidence: Strong
- Takes: a few hours a week
When plans fall throughLet yourself be disappointed, sort what's still possible from what isn't, and pick a new next step. Moving on to a new goal matters more than letting go of the old one.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: an hour, spread over a few days
Staying hopeful when things aren't improvingHope is a goal, a few possible routes and the belief that you can take one. Look for a route you haven't tried, explain bad news as specific and temporary, and keep the next step small.
- Evidence: Some
- Takes: 20 minutes, then a few minutes a week

Other situations: Work Family and partners Social Everyday